innocence and examples

Today at church, I took I. into the foyer during Sacrament meeting--seems like he always gets cranky right then. Anyway, we were sitting on the couch there and on the wall behind the couch was a picture depicting the Sermon on the Mount. He kept looking at the picture and smiling and cooing at it. I would say something about it being a picture of Jesus and he'd look at me and look at another nearby picture of Jesus and then look back to the Sermon picture and smile. Times like that always make me wonder whether babies can remember heaven and being in the presence of the Savior. I realize that I. was probably attracted by the pretty colors of the pictures, but to moment was still valuable to me as a reminder that he and T. were so recently with Heavenly Father and that they are still so innocent.

Other good Mommy moments recently: T. can get herself from laying down to sitting now. Her first tooth is breaking through, too. She is smiling more than she used to. I used to have a hard time getting her to smile--now just strangers have a hard time. At Costco the other day, she was bursting into tears every time a stranger stopped us, even though she was in the sling!

Every night we read from The Book of Mormon as a family with each person reading a verse. For a long time, F and E would sit and read with us, but A would wander off and play by herself. Just recently she's started wanting to "read" with us (this means that one of the adults tells her what to say for her verse). I learned a couple of things here: one is that my kids really value this time spent together as a family. They may not understand much of what we read yet, but they like it that we are all together. I think that's why A. started joining us. But I also learned something about teaching by example instead of coersion. If I had tried to make A. sit through scriptures before she was ready, she would have simply been a disruption to everyone else, and I think that she would still be fighting it now. Instead, the rest of the family set the example of what to do, and now she does it because she wants to. I think I need to apply this lesson to more areas of my teaching with the kids. If I do what I'm supposed to, they will follow--eventually, anyway.

personality test

Those of you who know me in real life will know that this fits me pretty well. I liked this quiz cause you can mark all the things that apply to you. I always hate trying to choose between two things that both seem to fit, depending on the situation.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have high conscientiousness. Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life. Most things in your life are organized and planned well. But you borderline on being a total perfectionist. Agreeableness: You have medium agreeableness. You're generally a friendly and trusting person. But you also have a healthy dose of cynicism. You get along well with others, as long as they play fair. Neuroticism: You have high neuroticism. It's easy for you to feel shaken, worried, or depressed. You often worry, and your worries prevent you from living life fully. You tend to be emotionally reactive and moody. Your either flying very high or feeling very low. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is medium. You are generally broad minded when it come to new things. But if something crosses a moral line, there's no way you'll approve of it. You are suspicious of anything too wacky, though you do still consider creativity a virtue.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Today was the first of our new co-op. It is largely for fun and for the social aspect of things, so we decided to do some things that we don't often do at home because they make such a mess: cooking, sewing and art. The kids all had a great time and learned a few things and the moms got to talk to each other some, which is a great bonus, so I think it was a success. Hope the rest run as smoothly as this one.

We went straight from co-op to the babies' nine month check up. I is over 19 lbs now, but T is a mere 17 lbs 14 oz. She looks bigger a lot of the time, so I was surprised. They are the same length, so he really is bigger. Anyway, the had a finger prick test for anemia today which did not go so well, especially for T. The nurse seemed to have no idea how to get her to bleed onto the little test thing and then when two nurses working together finally got the drop of blood in the right place,they realized that the little machine wasn't set right. T was pretty upset by the end of it. I's went a little better, but his numbers were just a little low. Apparently not enough to worry about though.

This evening was a mother/daughter activity for the 8-11 year old girls at church. We played volleyball. This was the first time I've played since high school PE. I usually avoid sports like the plague--mainly cause I stink at most of them. I had to do this for F though cause she would not have participated if I hadn't. I had T with me (I stayed with Daddy. It's the divide and conquer method.), so I got out of playing to take care of her part way through. :)

Today marked E's official 7th birthday. Since we had done most of our celebrating last weekend with her party, today was just for family stuff. I had convinced the kids that we should delay the Easter Bunny until today so that there would be something fun for E's birthday. (The kids DH teaches at church were pretty impressed that we had an in with the Easter Bunny and could get him to come on the day of our choice.) Anyway, we did that this morning. They got some fun clay stuff that they played with. We met DH for lunch at a pizza buffet. E didn't get to choose dinner cause the dinner I was supposed to make for a neighbor got put off till today, so I had it all planned out. E had dance, and while she was gone I helped F make a present for her. F is getting pretty good at doing some simple sewing projects and even finished up on her own while I went to pick E up.

Today is also the twins' 9 month birthday. They'll have their check up on Thursday, so I'm interested to see what they weigh. I think I may be out car seat shopping soon. They are so chubby. I love it that way though. I love never having to worry that my babies aren't growing fast enough. It is not uncommon for docs to worry about twins, even though they may stay small for several years. Anyway, I have no doubt that I and T have been gaining weight cause they're outgrowing clothes and they have huge fat rolls on their thighs.

Tomorrow is a calm day--finally. I plan to get some math done and have the girls start some newspaper articles for volume 2 of their newspaper. They did a good job with the last one. It turned out cute and the grandmas seemed to enjoy getting a copy. Also, F got some magnets in her Easter basket and has been learning about the poles and how they attract/repel. We want to look up exactly what makes a magnet work, so that may be on tomorrow's schedule. I need to get ready for Thursday's co-op where I will be teaching cooking. My kids are really excited about that. The first lesson is a very simple recipe just to teach measuring, so it shouldn't be too hard.

Aaargh! Today was a bad mommy day at our house. I try so hard to be patient, but after so many nights of poor sleep last week when I was sick along with such a busy weekend, I really lost it this morning. I may have mentioned before that the one thing I really have in common with Marmee from Little Women is an ongoing struggle to control my temper. My girls are, overall, really wonderful, helpful kids, but they have a definite problem getting through their morning routine in time to do anything else before lunch. Since that's prime school time, this is a problem. They do dawdle over breakfast, getting dressed, etc, but it's the cleaning up their toys and making the beds upstairs that gets to be the real problem.

Today they were playing instead of cleaning, as usual. I called them down to talk about the problem calmly, explaining that I simply cannot clean up after five kids by myself and that I cannot go up there and help them because I need to take care of the twins. I sent them back up with a 15 minute time limit to get done. After about that long, I could hear them playing again and that's when I lost it. I started screaming at them and went up to start throwing toys away. The babies were crying cause I scared them. The girls were crying because I was screaming and because I was going to throw toys away. I gave them one more chance, and they cried the whole time they cleaned.

When they came down, we all folded laundry together while I talked to them. "Did you learn anything today," I asked.

Silence.

"I learned something."

More silence.

"I learned that if I want you to do something, I should scream and throw toys away. Is that what you wanted me to learn?"

"That's the opposite of what I want you to learn," says E. "I never want you to do that."

Ok, so the rest of the day I feel guilty like crazy, but the fact is, I don't quite know what to do about this. They have too many toys, but they are emotionally attached to everything and I can't get them to give things up. I put things in the attic, and that helps, but I can't keep every toy they own. I used to do a rotation, but I can't keep up with something like that right now. I need things to be simple and easy. I realize it would work better if I went up and worked with them, but I have two nine month olds to take care of as well, and every minute that they are both asleep I spend doing other household tasks. Is it really too much to expect three kids ages 9, 7 and 4 to pick up their own toys and make their own beds without someone hanging over them? I don't think so! I really should just make them get rid of things, but I have trouble following through when they cry about it.

Well, time to let go of today's load of mommy guilt and try to get some sleep. Maybe tomorrow will bring some inspiration to the situation. If not...well, life will go on and this too shall pass and all those great cliches that never make me feel any better.

Not much homeschooling happened here last week thanks to I not feeling well. He was up in the night a lot, leading to an extra sleep deprived Mommy. We had a fun time with our homeschool group on Friday at the park and we met with three other families to plan a coop that will start this week. I'm really excited about it and so are the girls.

Friday night was E's birthday party. All the kids seemed to have a great time, so I guess it was a winner. Her real birthday is still coming up, so we still have fun things to look forward to this week.

Tomorrow includes a lesson in service as we are taking dinner to a neighbor who just had a baby. I really enjoy being able to teach my kids to be kind and helpful as well as teaching them reading and math. It's one of the best advantages of homeschooling.

Below are some pictures we took today of all the kids in their Easter clothes before church. I may be biased, but these are some of the cutest kids ever!

These three are such great friends. Aren't they lucky they're sisters, too?

A loves the camera almost as much as I. So cute!

E is silly (she wanted me to say that), but she's so cute. I always think she looks like a Norman Rockwell picture. Soon she'll have those two front teeth back and she won't look like such a little girl anymore.

F is getting to be such a beautiful little woman.

T never likes to smile for the camera, but she's so cute anyway!

All our little people all dressed up for Easter!

I is such a camera-ham

It's always nice to feel like you're doing something right. Today we went and met Daddy at Costco for lunch. While I was getting the pizza, Daddy and the kids were talking to a couple of women near our table. As they were leaving, one of them told me that my kids were "like poster children for homeschooling" because they seemed so friendly and outgoing rather than having the socialization problems people worry about. It's funny though because they are often shy in public. It's really because she was so outgoing and friendly to them that they felt comfortable to be that way with her. Still, made me feel good. It's not often that mommies get pats on the back like that.

One of the things I'm trying to get used to about blogging is that I can express my opinion as forcefully as I want because this is MINE. I don't have to worry about hurting anyone else's feelings when I say how I think things should be done in an ideal world. Those who know me in real life, know me as a very opinionated person, but the truth is, that I hate conflict. I don't like it when debates get too heated. I just want to do thing MY way and have everyone else leave me alone. :)

One of my favorite parenting opinions is that I really don't believe in corporal punishment. Recently there has been a lot of debate on several other homeschooling blogs about some parenting books that advocate rather extreme forms of corporal punishment. In my not very humble opinion, what they advocate is abuse. My point here is not to get into the whole debate about whether spanking and other, more violent forms of corporal punishment, are ok or not, but rather to declare my own personal parenting philosophy.

I think that parenting books often fall into one of two ways of viewing children. On the one hand are the books that view parents and children as being in an adversarial relationship. Children are out to get everything they can and parents should do whatever it takes to prevent their children from being so selfish.

On the other hand are the books that view parents and children in a cooperative relationship. In this case, children are viewed as great gifts, wonderful people in their own right, who need guidance to help them achieve their full potential. I'm sure that anyone can tell just by reading this paragraph which view is the one I subscribe to. In fairness, I think that books come across this way much more than actual parents do. Most parents fall somewhere in between these two views--perhaps because one is obviously too harsh and the other is somewhat idealistic.

When I say that my view is idealistic, though, that doesn't mean that I am not trying to achieve it. I truly, in my heart, believe that my kids are a gift from a loving Heavenly Father. I believe that each one of them is precious to Him. He has entrusted me with teaching them and helping them become the kind of people He wants them to be. I believe that I can best do that by building them up rather than using force to stop their bad behaviors. I have to believe that if Christ were able to come here and raise these precious ones, He would be gentle and loving at all times. His patience would never fail. I am not a perfect parent as He would be, but then, I am not perfect in any part of my life. That does not stop me from striving to be like Him.

I am going to get motivated for another week. Really I am. Ok, maybe tomorrow.

I think that this week I will be spent getting E caught up with F in math. I think that they will be able to move along together if I do that, which will make things simpler for me. Math was the first thing I wanted to get back to doing regularly after adjusting to having twins in the house. We have successfully achieved that, I think, so it's time to add a subject. Other things have been very hit and miss over the last few months. I do believe the girls are always learning lots of things, but I feel the need to get a couple of core subjects in more often. Next up: writing. Both could use some work on their handwriting, but I would also like to see them work on grammar and some creative writing skills. I just have to decide how I want to teach that. We did Shurley grammar one year because of a co-op we were in, but I didn't really love it and we're not in that co-op anymore, so I am free to look for a new plan. Ok, that sentence was a run-on, which makes me look like I wouldn't know correct grammar if it bit me on the nose. Really, I do know better.

This week though, I think all the kids seem like they need a little TLC, so I think that while I research approaches to grammar, we are going to have a reading fest. Every day we will all pile up on Mommy's bed or the couch or wherever is comfy and I will read aloud to them from some of my favorite books. It will also have the side effect of inspiring F to read something she usually wouldn't. ;)

Where do the days go? I'm sure it's no surprise at all that I have way more time to read things on the internet than time to type. Reading while nursing? Easy enough. Typing while nursing? Ack! Just don't love that one-handed, hunt and peck method at all.

OK, the Little Women thing is cute and all, but I am confusing myself with all these names, so I've decided that using a first initial for each kid will be less confusing and still preserve anonimity.

F finished her math book today! Other than that I was feeling pretty uninspired, so I was grateful when a friend sent an email asking for get well cards for an orphan girl from China. Get well cards=nice little art project. Learning some fun and interesting facts about China=geography. Great! Even better, they girls remembered some of the fun and interesting facts long enough to tell Daddy about them when he got home. We also discussed some of the social issues faced by people in other countries since F was interested to know why there are so many orphaned girls in China.

I seem to have a blank spot in my day where I can't remember what we did. I know I spent way too long on the phone with my sister-inlaw. Always nice to talk to a grown up. Oh, we put the babies in their tiny wading pool for a while. That was pretty cute. I has actually achieved crawling now, and can get into all kinds of things. I'm trying to train the girls to close doors--especially the bathroom. They still think it's really fun that he can get to them whenever he wants to now. Wonder when the novelty of that will wear off.

F and E did family home evening tonight (we do Wednesdays cause F has dance on Mondays). F came up with a comparison between a game she has called Topple and repentence. The game involves stacking little pieces on a wobbly board until someone makes everything topple off. She said that the pieces were like sins and having them fall off was like repenting. I was pretty impressed that she could make that connection.

Yesterday was General Conference for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (the Mormons), of which I am a member. I love Conference weekend. I always come away feeling so inspired and renewed. Of course, catching a nap between sessions yesterday may have helped my feeling of renewal. :)

I especially enjoyed Elder Holland's talk about coming unto Christ. He used one of my ver favorite scriptures from Matthew 11:28-30. "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in heart, and ye shall find rest unto your souls." (Quoting from memory, so please excuse if I didn't get it quite right). Having five kids to care for, I sure feel like I could use some rest sometimes, so I really like that one. :) Ok, really, I have always like it, but have always wondered exactly how to take His yoke upon me. I am grateful to Elder Holland for answering my question.

Laurie is just about crawling now. He scoots well the last couple of days and has taken a couple of crawling "steps." He'll be getting everywhere soon. Time to put up the baby gates! He can also go from his belly to sitting up now. I have been interested to see that he follows a lot of the boy development while Amy follows the girl stuff. I really don't think that babies this young are all that different due to gender--more due to personality, but Laurie is definitely more active and does the physical things earlier. Amy, on the other hand, has mastered the "ma" sound and the "ba" sound while Laurie only does vowels still.

Well, time to get this day going. As usual on a Monday, the house looks like a tornado hit.

Some pictures of the ofF, E and A from last fall.

You try getting two babies to smile at the same time! This was the best it got.